Staff Sergeant Coffee

I never thought the day would come when I would be telling the world that I rubbed a soldier's belly and let him lick my face, especially in this age of "don't ask, don't tell." But I guess when love comes along, you want the whole world to know (except Guinness). Meet my new best friend over here. His name is Staff Sergeant Coffee. His job is sniffing for bombs in the local government buildings, or anywhere else he's needed. He accompanied a group of us outside the wire recently.

Yes, he is actually a U.S. soldier. He has the rank of Staff Sergeant, which sucks for the guy who is his handler because the dog out ranks him. According to his handler, no matter what rank he (the guy) personally achieves, the dog will always be one rank higher (that can't be good for morale). Apparently, the reason they do this is so that if the handler ever abuses or hits the dog, he can be charged under the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice) for physically assaulting a higher ranked NCO (non-commissioned officer). (My BS detector went off a little on this one, but I figure if I was outranked by a dog I would have a hell of an explanation too.)

It really makes me wonder what Guinness could have done with his life if I had only taken him down to the recruiting center and set him on the right path. Now he just lays around the house eating and sleeping like some pot-loving-hippie civilian. What a waste.

It is very interesting to watch the Iraqi's reaction to him. He is a cute dog with a great disposition, but the Iraqi's scatter whenever he walks down a hallway. Iraqi's are well known in this part of the world for their dislike of dogs. Poor Coffee, who was getting a little overheated in the 125 degree heat, was refused entrance into a judge's chambers to cool off. The judge was not even happy that the dog was in building and thought it was disrespectful during Ramadan (Muslim Holy Month). Of course, this is the same judge who fears being bombed by terrorists 24/7 so you would think he would be this particular dog's best friend.

It's nice to see a Labrador Retriever, it reminds me of home. I'll have to ask my buddy Step (who is an Army JAG officer in his spare time) what the penalty is for kidnapping a Staff Sergeant and keeping him in your trailer.

********************** UPDATE *******************
It has been about 10 hrs. since the above post. Since there is nothing to do here at night, I've done some research.

Apparently my BS detector is off a little (must be because I haven't been around defense attorneys in a while). Please read the following taken from an Army Website:

Dogs one rank higher than handlers

Each dog is awarded rank in the Army system and receives special treatment by the system and their handler.

“The dogs are always one step higher in rank than their handler in case of abuse,” said Broda. “If a handler abuses the animal, he’s subject to UCMJ action. If I get promoted, she gets promoted as well.”

The dogs, usually Labrador retrievers or a Labrador mix, are given rigorous training and their relationship with their handlers is very important. When working, they wear a special harness and they know that when wearing it, it’s time to work. “They won’t work without their harnesses,” said Broda

Here is the link for some interesting reading.

http://www4.army.mil/ocpa/read.php?story_id_key=8489